Just 582km to get us home from Luxembourg via Belgium and France. In total, Eurothrash 2024 was 1,904 miles or 3,064km and averaged 54.3mpg.
The RT was battered and bleeding but got us back. What a trooper!
Battered and BruisedSo yes, the bike is excellent. But the BMW Connected App is simply awful. It falls over all the time. It drops in and out all the time. Give us CarPlay!
France to Switzerland to France to Luxembourg.
We left Aix-les-Bains in bright sunlight and 32°C and 571km later we arrived in Luxembourg having endured an absolute deluge (and the temperatures falling to 22°C).
The weather forecast was good for our homeward trip the next day. Another cheeky upgrade to the room in our hotel, the Sofitel Luxembourg Le Grand Ducal, which was lovely, and as for dinner, well that was excellent stuff washed down with a bottle of Luxembourgoise wine.
Sofitel Luxembourg Le Grand DucalSo, 506km and one litre of oil later (the latter to replace the new waterproofing for our boots, trousers and the RT itself) we got to the Mercure Aix-les-Bains Domaine de Marlioz Hôtel & Spa
A relatively short day was planned and that turned out to be a very hot 275km and one crash: a road sweeper doing a left and taking us out.
There was some damage to the RT: both cylinder heads as it hit the sweeper on one side and the floor on the other. I couldn’t avoid the sweeper as there was too much high road furniture on the left. so down we went. And with all the luggage it took four of us to haul it back up onto two wheels.
I was completely unscathed as I pretty much just stepped off, but Alison got her ankle pressed a bit by the rear footpeg (pushing on her boots). She’s obviously not used to this crashing malarkey! But at least we apparently achieved a lean angle of 66º on that side…
It was then that the SOS button might have been useful, but of course that hasn’t worked since very early on with the ownership and BMW were taking way too long to release a fix for it.
So we continued on to Cannes and after more 38ºC temperatures and crawling traffic all the way along the seafront, we stopped at our booked hotel, the JW Marriott Cannes where just one night cost us over €1,150! . When I booked it, I had included instructions that we would be arriving on a motorcycle and to ask them to make sure we had a reserved parking space in the car park underneath the hotel. When we arrived and parked up outside the front next to a Ferrari and a Bugatti, I asked how to get to their car park and was told I wasn’t allowed to. No motorcycles allowed there, apparently! They instead said I should use a public car park a kilometre or so away or take my chance parking on the road nearby. And then they made us wait over an hour for our room to be made available.
Avoid!
The original plan was to have a long day in the saddle, heading up to the Milau Bridge and the Gorges du Tarn, but herself was beginning to flag a bit, so I instead set a course along some nice-ish roads from Banyuls-sur-Mer to Castillon-du-Gard in Provence, where we were due to stay at the delightful La Vieux Castillon.
This was the hotel that Channel 4’s First Dates show had used for their summer holidays the first few series of First Dates Hotel before they moved to one in Italy, I think?
Anyway after a very hot day – 38°C – we reached 1,175km and were ready for a rest day the following day.
By the time we reached the hotel, it was still 32°C at the pool. They let me leave the RT outside Reception which was a weight off my mind. And yes, it’s a fabulous hotel, every bit as good as we had hoped.
We had booked their gastronomic package, but sadly the restaurant was closed the two night we were actually booked in for, having shifted the dates. So for our first night we enjoyed a lighter meal from the bar menu.
The next day was a rest day, so we spent it mainly by the pool, although we did go for a wander around the streets of Castillon-du-Gard.
Dinner was at Joio Restaurant nearby which is managed by the chef at the hotel and opens when he’s not working at Le Vieux Castillon. We ate their signature starter and main and a couple of cheeky glasses of wine. Very reasonably priced too as well as delicious.
Out of Spain into France. So that was the Atlantic Ocean over to the Mediterranean Sea then. And goodbye Spain, hello France. 910km so far, riding the BMW R1250RT along the N-260 (and others) from La Seu d’Urgell in the Spanish Pyrenees to Banyuls-sur-Mer on the French coast. We also diverted up to ride the infamous Gorges de Galamus.
Once we got to our hotel and parked up – after the BMW Connected app decided we should approach it from a footpath above – we checked in to our room.
I have no idea what that clicking is in the video, and no, I didn’t mean the old biddy walking down the corridor…
Food at the Côté Thalasso Banyuls-sur-Mer exceeded expectations; the tasting menu was superb with the beef and dauphinois potatoes a high point before this dessert. A lovely local red wine too.
So Banyuls-sur-Mer was better than expected and they were kind enough to let us keep the RT parked outside reception where they could keep an eye on it. We decided to pin it to win it to get to our next stay, but first we explored the harbour.
The first major overseas trip planned for the RT was to its birthplace: the BMW Motorradwerk in Berlin.
I knew this was going to be a pretty boring trip as my past experience of Northern France has always been that it’s the area you have to ride or drive through to get to the interesting bits, which is why this July’s trip starts with a ferry down to Spain…
Anyway, I checked the Michelin maps I’ve got for that trip and saw that I could actually have some ‘scenic’ stuff in Belgium on the way (given that I’d planned a two stop strategy on the way to Berlin, two nights in Berlin itself, and then one stop on the way back in the Netherlands.
So at around 6am on Sunday 9th June it was off to LeShuttle at Folkestone for our fixed time trip out. On the way there, the truly irritating BMW Connected app had frozen on the A3 but fortunately I knew I was using the M25 and turned off in time, rather than continuing as the app was pretending to tell me. As we arrived to check in, I realised that I’d left my wallet at home so I’d have to try to pay for everything with Apple Pay on my Apple Watch or iPhone 15 Pro…
It froze a couple of times in France and Belgium which meant we had to go a slightly different route towards Liege than I’d planned, and threw my trust in the app off even more. I can see why some other owners have given up and ditched it altogether in favour of a mounted Garmin one (which also has the added bonus of showing “safety” cameras). Why BMW don’t let us use Apple CarPlay is beyond me.
Still, at least I got a bit of footage in Dinant in Belgium, which was indeed scenic:
We stopped along the way in a lovely little town called Florennes for a salad for lunch.
RT parked up in Florennes
We got to the Mercure at Liege and checked in, asking if we could book a table in the restaurant. “No,” they said, “it’s not open on Sundays”. Well that’s not what it says on their website! We decided to get a drink in the bar anyway, but again, we were told that’s also closed on Sundays. We weren’t best pleased… We did, however, find a little Italian restaurant nearby where we could eat.
The next day was a bit of a wet one as we headed towards Hameln (or “Hamelin” where the Pied Piper hung out. I’d booked us into the Hotel Stadt Hameln and frankly didn’t expect much, but the room was large and comfortable and the restaurant was absolutely outstanding. We also wandered into the old town to see if we could get some cash out on Alison’s Supplemental American Express Platinum Card, but sadly that service isn’t offered any longer. This meant we had no cash for tipping.
The Klim Latitude and Altitude clothing, our Alpinestars short boots and our gloves had all performed brilliantly keeping us dry as a bone, and with the heated seats, grips and waistcoats we’d been warm as well.
We then headed on to Berlin and two nights at the outstanding Hotel Adlon Kempinski at the Brandenburg Gate. I could definitely get used to champagne and caviar for breakfast every day! At least we could use their temporary gym – the normal one is being renovated – to burn some of the calories off.
We also visited the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe; very poignant.
On the Wednesday after brunch we went off to BMW Motorradwerk for an extended factory tour in English … except the English-speaking guide couldn’t do it, so the German one press-ganged a Polish(?) tourist into translating for him, which sort of worked but was a tad unsatisfactory.
Thursday morning after a workout and brunch we headed off to Eindhoven, seeing 207km/h or 129mph on the autobahns. Well that was irritating! One minute, you’re on an unrestricted stretch of dual carriageway in Germany and the next moment it’s the same road in the Netherlands with a 100km/h speed limit! The next morning was the same when we left the Netherlands and hit Belgium: the same road but now with a 120km/h speed limit.
The Park Plaza in Eindhoven was again comfortable after a really long ride but it featured the slowest lift in the world ever!
After breakfast we packed and headed back to Calais and then on to home. We’d booked flexiplus on LeShuttle so after ordeal by UK Border Agency as usual – including the jobsworth insisting we took off our crash helmets for no reason at all – we had lunch in the lounge before getting on the next train back to the UK and home by mid-afternoon on Friday: four countries in one day!
So yes: 1,418 miles with a maximum speed of 129mph and still averaging 47.8mpg for the trip.
At the last minute I’d added a Kriega US-40 Rackpack for our shoes and heated vests to go in, fixed to the frame and rack and sitting on the top of the top case (plus we had the top case and pannier liner bags to use).
Eurothrash…
So it was holiday time again and despite working until late on the Friday and hence only doing last minute packing, I found myself heading off at Oh Dark Hundred on Saturday, 1st June to the Eurotunnel to meet up with Yox and Purge.
Yox had organised the crossing tickets as well as working out a route that linked up a number of great biking roads in and around the Pyrenees, so we were heading off there with a view to getting all the way down to the Pyrenees by nightfall. The benefit of travelling off-peak as far as the French are concerned should have been that we wouldn’t need to book any hotels in advance and hence we wouldn’t have any pressure to be at a pre-determined destination on any day.
They both took the mick out of the lack of tread on my sporty tyres which I’d though would be fine for the trip … without realising I’d done the 2,100 mile Ardèche trip on the same tyres before… And so we turned out onto the motorways and headed South. As it transpired, the motorways were a leeeetle bit abrasive and by the time we’d lost and found Purge around Paris and made our way down to Clermont-Ferrand, the tyres were well and truly shagged and wouldn’t make it home. Ah!
Purge and I were both using Tom-Tom Rider satnavs – mine a more recent model after my other one was stolen by my psycho ex-girlfriend – and both had been updated to the latest maps … which showed the hotel we selected as being halfway up a hill in a residential area. It wasn’t there, of course, but we went back to where Yox’s Co-Pilot Android software (the same I use on my iPhone) had guided him. I then went in and negotiated a decent room rate for the three of us with use of their own garage for the first overnight stay. Then shower, change, beers and a huge evening meal before bed.
Day Two and we were heading off via Millau towards Perpignan. The twisting roads of the Haute-Pyrenees were fabulous but tiring so as we rode into Quillan, we found a traditional-looking hotel, the Hotel La Chaumiere, to check into. As it was Yox’s birthday, the beers, the wine and the food were on Purge and I.
The view from my balcony
The meal also included the heaviest wine bottle I’ve ever seen: truly bizarre (but tasty)!
The heaviest wine bottle ever
After dinner, it was up to our rooms … and I discovered that my carefully-arranged base layers had flown off the balcony and were laying in front of the restaurant. Ah!
Day Three and it was time to sort out my racing slicks. We delayed breakfast and I then spent the next half an hour ringing around all the motorcycle dealers and tyre depots to see if I could get sorted. They were all shut, despite it being a Monday, as they’d been open on the Saturday. Oh to be French! So I decided to press on into Andorra alone – our planned destination – to try to find tyres and let Yox and Purge head off into Spain to play on the roads. This included my first real view of some of the passes and cols and snow-capped peaks.
Note racing slicks…
Instagram version!
Some epic twisty roads towards Andorra then saw me going through the 2.8km long Túnel d’Envalira which was like going through a refrigerator!
Emerged from the Túnel d’Envalira
Then it was down into Andorra. As I came close to Andorra la Vella, I passed by a KTM dealer and popped inside to see if they could sort me out with tyres using my best Spanglish. They were really helpful and directed me to a car/bike dealer nearby that happened to be a Kawasaki franchise. So in I went, agreed a deal to get new tyres fitted that afternoon and then went off to find us a hotel, the Novotel. While the tyres were being fitted – a process that took the entire afternoon… – I went out scouting for dinner and found an excellent tapas restaurant.
Out with the old…
…in with the new
When Purge and Yox arrived after enjoying what they said were some of the best roads they’d seen, it was off to eat.
Allow me to explain through the medium of interpretive dance
Day Four and we were heading off to Bagnères-de-Luchon via the twisties. Epic roads out of Andorra – back the way I’d come – and this time, I’d set up my helmet camera to capture some of the footage:
It was warm and sunny … and snowy at the top of the Pyrenees which meant the scenery was spectacular.
Once we were into the Haute-Pyrenees again, we went up a few of the Cols that feature in the Tour de France as well as a few others:
Col du Port
On one descent, I was able to coast for over 3 miles, overtaking cars and lorries with the engine off! Yox also did the reveal on his luxury item: he’d brought some fine coffee and a little fold-up stove to brew it on, so we had coffee at the Col du Port … and he set fire to a picnic table by mistake.
Finally we made it into Bagnères-de-Luchon where we pulled up in the square next to the Hôtel Panoramic where I did the usual and we checked in.
Bagnères-de-Luchon
Bagnères-de-Luchon
Bagnères-de-Luchon
Day Five and we were headed off to Spain via a few more peaks which were covered in snow … which we duly played in. Obviously.
I’m snow angel
Eejit dance
Talking of playing, Yox had rigged up his camera and followed me off down one of the descents:
After a day’s bend-swinging (including a visit to our spiritual home, a village called Perves), we were tired and decided to cut our intended journey short, so we checked in to the fabulous Hotel Cotori in El Pont de Suert.
Hotel Cotori
That’s a pedestrian square… We were recommended a decent tapas restaurant where, despite the protestations of the owner, I went ahead and ordered us a whole selection of dishes that just kept on coming. Delicious! And all finished off by us.
Day Six and it was breakfast with two grumpy buggers. Something about a blue ZRX’s alarm going off at 3.15am. I was unaware of this, given I was sound asleep at the back of the hotel…
So the plan for the day was to head back into France, but we hadn’t reckoned on the nature of the route being so twisty and covering a large vertical variance: up and down like a whore’s drawers! This wasn’t helped by finding out when we were there that the famous Col du Tormalet was shut due to there being 6-9m of snow on the road at the summit!
More epic roads and scenery though. Tired and getting late, we diverted into Lourdes to find a hotel for the night … and we found one: a €29 a night one that we christened “Hotel Paradiso” that probably charged the rooms out by the hour too… What a dive! Lourdes in general – and our hotel in particular – was full of gangs of schoolkids with various coloured beanie hats and scarves being led around by Catholic priests. What a strange place!
I woke up quite hot at around 3am and my body heat had ‘refreshed’ the mattress such that there was a smell of urine from the depths of the mattress (itself on a plastic-covered bed base). I couldn’t wait to get a shower in the morning! Purge had the evening before found a dead insect in his sheets!
Day Seven. Keen to get a move on and put the Hotel Paradiso behind us, we headed back into Spain via a whole load more passes, peaks and valleys.
Photo!
We got as far as Jaca in Aragon and after filling up we headed to the Hotel & Spa Real Jaca which did us a great deal for the rooms and underground parking with breakfast. The only downside was the Saga louts that checked in later: a whole coachload of OAPs that swooped on the restaurant to scoff the food.
Day Eight and I woke up to the “shh” of car tyres on wet roads. Looking out of the window, I could see it was absolutely tipping down: not good considering we were hoping to get to Le Mans by the evening. So we had breakfast, checked out and headed out into torrential rain at around 9.00am, up and up into the Pyrenees towards France. My vented race boots started leaking after 16 miles but fortunately the rest of my riding gear was keeping me dry. Stupidly, I’d not worn a base layer under my T-shirt and hadn’t zipped-in the liner to my riding gear either, so the combination of rain storms and altitude meant I was getting really cold. By the time of our first fuel stop into France, I was grateful to be able to put on some more clothes before we headed off back into the worst riding conditions any of us had ever seen (in my case, in 35 years of riding).
The autoroute around Bordeaux was more like a canal and at one point it felt like I was sitting on a chair while someone directed a fire hose at me, the rain was so heavy.
Towards Paris it stopped raining and near Tours at another fuel stop, we decided to pin it and win it: we wouldn’t bother stopping for the night near Le Mans; we’d just keep going for the other 300 miles to the Eurotunnel station and see if we could get on a day early, ratther than getting changed out of our wet gear and potentially facing another day’s wet riding on the Sunday.
We arrived at around 10.15pm, some 780 miles later and were pleased to be put onto the 11.45pm crossing, so we finally had something to eat and drink and on we went.
Homeward bound
Back onto English soil at around 11.45pm UK time, we went our separate ways and I blasted back towards London and my apartment, which I reached at around 12.30am.
Roughly 2,100 miles again. Another epic Euroblast.
So yes, I’d ummed and ahhed about getting a new bike for the trip before I left and more or less settled on a new Triumph Sprint GT 1050 but knew I’d not be able to get it run in and sorted before the off. Blue Rex was epic in the twisties and looks the bollocks too, but on the motorways above 90mph for mile after mile and hour after hour it’s a bit of an effort plus some fixed luggage makes sense. So I’m test riding a Sprint next weekend and will probably place an order there and then so I can have it properly sorted before next year’s planned Eurothrash two-up with GT to the Alps.
Or maybe a late summer long weekend sortie across the Channel just to get a feel for it… 😉
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